more will be revealed,my step work 2011

This week I met with my sponsor Tyla with whom I am doing the Big Book Awakening step study workshop with.We all have our our private appts with her to do the 5th step with.This year I again thought "maybe I don't need to do a workshop again" Who am I kidding right! I have 3 resentments completed and 1 sexual inventory to take with me to her house.The appt is at 3pm I messs it up and show up at 1pm. Anyway I spent the morning in quiet time reviewing my work asking myself "is there anything else," have I been thorough?Etc Etc. That's how I came up with the Sexual Ideal. I didnt have one written out, silly me.So I allow God direct my thinking and end up with a Sexual Ideal to take with me. But the thing I want to share is WOW upon my review of my work so far I see that for the first time EVER in my 16 years of sobriety I do not find on my fears list "fear of being crazy" or Fear they think Im crazy , no crazy any where!!!! For those of you who do the work and maybe those that dont you can understand the excitment in the discovery!

PS I thought I should add this for those not familarwith the step work, my sexual ideal is not an idea of whom I want to find them to be ....NO NO it is whom I want to be in a relationship. Surprise surprise.

Let me add that we don't do the steps so that we will feel better either, No where does it say we write inventory to feel better.We write inventory to find the things that block us from the sunlight of the spirit.

Have a wonderful day.

1 Comment to more will be revealed,my step work 2011:

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catherine on Monday, May 30, 2011 1:36 PM

I can totally relate to the thing about fear of people thinking I am crazy! Being dually diagnosed, where I have a psychiatric illness as well as the disease of addiction, can be difficult, but I have my AA program that is strong and I have as team of professionals supporting me with my mental illness. I am lucky, but I also stood up for myself and advocated for myself (with the help of family and friends!) so that the team of professionals is finally in place. Recovery from anything takes TIME (Things I Must Experience) and there is no substitute for time and hard work. We have to take care of ourselves by going to our meetings, working our steps, making a support group, getting phsyical exercise as well as getting psychiatric care if necessary. No one thing helps me at the exclusion of the others. As far as people or even myself thinking I'm crazy, after 25 years in AA and under a Doctor's care, I am both stable with my "crazies" and sober, clean and quite HAPPY! Is anyone else dealing with a dual diagnosis out there?

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