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Chapter 5 page 63 How It Works in The Big Book of AA

I find that when choosing page 63 I want to go back to page 62 and read at least the opening sentence of the last paragraph. "This is the how and the why of it. I urge to you to read on. However I am discussing page 63.
Remarkable things have happened in my life since I began this journey on Jan.10,1995. I not the woman I am today.I in fact was not a woman.I was not capable. The entire chapter How it works could say How it worked in Kathleen's life. I learned that life run on my terms my ideas simply did not work,In my delusional thinking I believed everyone wronged me.So okay then what? I gave in to the idea that there needed to be someone else in charge. Yikes more delusional thinking happened. I interpreted that into some man could do a better job being in charge with my live. How unfair that was to this guy or that ! "in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt."
So even in sobriety I experienced painful events.I could not rid myself or reduce my self centeredness by wishing or trying, I had to have a power greater than any human power. I had to have spirt's help,Power of the universe's help, Buddha's help,God Help! What ever you choose to call it.
I had to quit playing God.I had to have a new director of the live I had I had to have a new employer new boss. I QUIT RUNNING THE SHOW.
This concept is the cornerstone of my recovery!I passed thru to freedom.My life is honestly just as this book state It is remarkable,all sorts of remarkable things continue to happen to me.I can feel the power within me today, this is remarkable, from where I began!I have peace of mind,I have discovered I can face life successfully!I am conscience of the powerful force that us to baffle me.I have lost most of the fear that robbed me of a life.I don't worry about today tomorrow and the hereafter. My entire life is reborn.
I urge all of you to join me on this powerful journey. Give yourself this holiday season the gift of sobriety!
 

18 Comments to Chapter 5 page 63 How It Works in The Big Book of AA:

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Marie on Friday, November 19, 2010 10:09 AM
Kathleen, I am so proud of you and how you have worked so hard to be who you are....I am sorry that I didn't know how much you have struggled inside to find yourself...you fooled me, I thought you knew that life is a journey that goes on and on...nothing stays the same and it is about learning how to deal with changes and to simpley find happiness in everyday things and don't over analyze. I love you! Marie
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